Just Some Thoughts


Today is a beautiful day, even if I have not stepped outside yet. My girl is in the shower and I am in the living room typing this. Yesterday I was at a doctors appointment where the doc persuaded me to confess certain characteristics about myself I usually keep hidden, like selfishness and dishonesty. I understand people lie and are selfish a lot, I just have never really been able to accept that it was normal for anyone to embellish or be selfish. I consider my intentions to be good and even though at times I feel like I need everyone else’s approval. There is only one person I have really been wanting to approve of me, Michael Behenna. He’s my old  lieutenant from Iraq and he was there during a pretty shitty moment, where I constantly still ask myself if I did a good enough job at whatever the hell I was expected to do. If I asked my mom or friends or even ex-friends who hate me for some reason, they would tell me yay or nay, but I would never really put any weight on it, not because I feel they are lying, but for some unknown trust issue with the whole situation. I will be visiting Michael soon and I guess i’ll see what he has to say.

This photograph is of me arriving home from Iraq and the lucky lady is my little mother, whom I love deeply.

Now, to the other stuff going on. Today we will eat at some asian buffet we love and hopefull get in touch with a good russian friend of mine, Igor. The rest of the day sounds pretty open, seeing as how we have already done everything there is to possibly do in St Louis, MO. Finally at the end of this year we will be on the road on our way back to california and start a new adventure somehow. Life is way to short to care about everyone you see, so i’m dedicating my little life to my family, girl and close friends. There is no set plot to this blog, just the random setting of my day. Enjoy

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6 thoughts on “Just Some Thoughts

  1. Great photo! Question though…..the “main” photo on your blog…where is it taken? What was going on and is that you? I adore it. Reminds me of the Grand Canyon. (Can’t imagine WHY! Hah!)

    Thank you for your service and thanks for writing about it. I am planning on specializing in PTSD and TBIs once I get my master’s in psychology and begin counseling for a living.

    Keep writing. It’s a good thing.

  2. I have to cross the Atlantic to embrace my mother (and father), so I certainly can understand, Michael! and, even if I am much older than you, I could understand (not completely but who can say that about another person?) the rest… as for the photo, I have a watercolor with almost the same thing (the farewell or the home coming, the emotion is very similar…)

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