The System


Bird on a wire


Sometimes if I take the time to slow down enough to think I realize that nothing is really ever more important to my well being than the happiness of the people I care about. Although, I automatically seem to internally make hypothetical choices that would benefit me. Nothing…I mean nothing matters more than family and for those who do not have the traditional “family” setting, I offer friendship and gracious prayers for you to pass the obstacles before you with pure confidence.

The Rose Story


There was once an old rich man who heard of a rose which, when plucked of one of it’s petals would give that man immortality. The only problem was that the rose was surrounded by thousands of poisonous thorns and atop a large mountain. He sent man after man to die from these thorns just so he could walk on their bodies for protection from the thorns. After years of foolish men taking bribes to crawl as far as they could before death towards the rose, the final “stepping stone” fell dead. He then made his journey over broken bones and rotting flesh to reach his rose. Once he reached the very top of the mountain the man spoke out to the rose:

“Oh costly rose, the men you have made lifeless just to grant me immortality. I laugh at this ironic circumstance and will now take my petal”

He reached out and grasped a petal, then from the ground arose a figure, covered in dirt and maggots, seemingly lifeless. The figure stood up slowly with the rose in its hand and spoke:

” Oh great sir, what a man are thee, to sacrifice thousands to set me free of this immortality, one hundred years have passed since I too climbed over weak men to fall to this trickery!”

before the rich old man could speak his mouth fillled with dirt and his body sunk into the ground slow and in agony. The petal crumbled in his hands and a new rose blossomed upon his shallow grave of immortality. The figure then dusted off his body and began to open his eyes and look around and noticed the mans coin purse amidst the rosebush.  Rusty with common sense the mans greed reached in with wide eyes to grasp the purse and in one swift motion he scraped a single lonley thorn and died right there at the rosebushes base…

Although in his grave the rich old man was very aware of what fate dealt to him and his predecessor… and he smiled, awaiting the next man who shall sacrifice the weak for…

Human desperation


“Most men [people] lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them” Henry David Thoreau
Imagine being completely parched for days under the scorching rays of the sun, with barley any water or food to survive by. An oasis appears miles over a sand dune and rushing toward it, the person stops and wonders if it is an oasis or mirage? Running toward the mirage could forsake them, but if it was an actual oasis, the rewards could be endless. This scenario is life and the quote by Thoreau describes the quite internal struggle most people have when analyzing risk and aspirations. The thirst for a meaningful existence burrows deep in all human beings and what the great Thoreau recites so beautifully is the desperate clawing of aspiration at our chest as an unsung melody. Who in their right mind would not risk all glorious sacrifice to accomplish their most passionate of goals? The answer: most people. Although, even in the essence of determination, belief and faith can cringe to ad head to burdening obligations. The responsibilities that tie people to a routine hinder divine success and that routine is so far under the skin, that no matter how dangerously desperate a person might be, they succumb to silent desires. Someone could even argue that although the song and strive may lay dormant in agony, the idea of leading life without enormous happiness is still acceptable to take to the grave. Nonsense, happiness should be an obligation, if not then the almighty pursuit of happiness should be the drive behind a person’s life. The sheer sadness expressed in the contemplation of death before happiness in the quote aches at the heart and rips out sheets of confidence in attitude and ability. It is madness to engulf the spirit of a person in the flames of expectance and routine ideology, filled with tons of weightless excuses. Determination is the message in this quote, the determination to sing aloud those weary, desperate songs of desire and aspiration. However, there is understanding when the obligations and responsibilities someone has outweighed their own internal agendas for success. Suffering in silence, devastatingly aching for an escape from the binds of sociological conformity to appease the masses, people sacrifice happiness more in this way than any other. What the quote hopefully intends to communicate is an understanding of desperation and the grip it has on humanity. Without a doubt the long passed dead would answer regret with a hearty yes.

Warrior Poet: don’t criticize what you can’t understand


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Sgt. Adam Kohlhaas & Sgt. Steven Christofferson KIA Bayji, Iraq APR/21/2008

For them:

All along the eastern shore
Some of these kids make me feel poor
And every time I try to leave
The flag pulls so hard on my sleeve
Bullets rain down from the sky
Never knew I could sink so high
Blind and guilty is my name
Honest men put me to shame
Those we save are far and few
Not enough to be thanked by you
Give me purpose give me strength
God is listening for short lengths
When I pass let it be heard
All we thought of was one word
Mother mother hear my cry
When these people ask me why
Blood and tears both pour out now
Trying to feel but don’t know how
This fight has gone on for too long
It’s time to stop this unsung song
I leave my thoughts to you now
I ask forgiveness and you ask how
Don’t forget the ones who died
They will linger by my side
And when you ask about their lives
I recall their last short cries
These men these soldiers these strong few
Died hard and brave and true
– Michael X Ortiz

Texture Memories


Do you ever just stare blankly at the floor or a wall for deeper thoughts? Recently when I catch myself staring, I take a picture and then edit the photograph according to my mood. Enjoy.

Del Amo mall Bench

Moms house, couch blanket
Fiance’s purse
Medical clinic tile floor
Bathroom rug in front of toilet (I know)
L.A County traffic court wall
Fiance’s Scarf
Outside chipotle, wall
Bathroom wall tile
Chipotle plate
Denny’s Booth wall
Del Amo fashion center Grass
Street palm tree
Mall Cement tile floor